people smell better than reindeers;

[broadwaybound]

Who: Kristoff / Anna [Frozen]
What: When Kristoff is accidentally drawn into a wormhole, he is unexpectedly spat out on the other end in modern-day central park, where he promptly runs into Anna-- quite literally. Realizing that this stranger and his reindeer clearly don't belong, Anna puts it upon herself to help him find a way back home.
When: 2013, with just a hint of 1829
Where: New York City, 2013; then Norway
How: Not Yet Rated
Status: incomplete

Kristoff: [Sven never wanders off. That’s what makes his absence even more concerning to Kristoff when he comes out of the trading post to find him gone. The sleigh is still there with all of his tools, but Sven’s tracks lead off into the woods.] Sven! Come on, get back here! [It’s been a long day and he’s not in the mood for this delay in getting back home. Walking into the forest, he follows the tracks, frowning as they start to veer off into a cave. They’ve never been in this area of the forest before, and Kristoff is worried that Sven might not have wandered here on his own. Reaching for his ice axe just in case, Kristoff raises his lantern a bit higher as he walks into the cave that the tracks lead to. Hearing the bells on Sven’s harness in the distance, Kristoff picks up the pace, walking quickly through the cave as he comes around the corner. It’s only when he hears a noise of distress from Sven that he starts running, dropping the axe in his haste. When he rounds the last corner leading into the main cavern of the cave, he can’t believe his eyes. Sven is backed against the wall, bellowing in distress at the sight of a large wall of the cave emitting shining blue light.] What on Ear-- [As Kristoff steps closer, the lights suddenly shine brighter, blinding him almost completely, and he starts to feel a certain pull toward the wall. It only gets stronger, Kristoff raising his arm to shield his eyes as he drops the lantern and grabs Sven’s reins in a fruitless effort to anchor himself. Instead, the two of them are pulled toward the wall and into the lights. The force is so strong, that Kristoff can’t do much more than try to hold onto Sven and hope the gods will have mercy on him. The last thought he has in the cave is, at least he and Sven are together for this. The next thing he knows, he’s falling to the ground in a pile of dried leaves, Sven’s hooves clomping next to him as he scrambles for purchase, snow and the familiar scent of the forest gone, replaced by bright daylight. Groaning, Kristoff rolls onto his side in an attempt to find his bearings, only to suddenly feel a small person kick and then trip over him as they were running.] Agh--!

Anna: [Running through central park is the only time that Anna really takes to herself anymore. The rest is dedicated to wedding planning, and the corresponding meetings left and right, no seeming end in sight. Hans keeps wanting to push the date forward, but with so much to do and plan, she just doesn't have the time, and it sincerely makes her wonder how Elsa manages running an entire company and her own life at the same time. Muttering to herself as she goes through her list of things to do for the day, she closes her eyes, just shaking her head, nodding here and there, arguing with herself left and right. It's also why she doesn't end up seeing the rock in her way, too caught up in her own head that she stumbles and promptly falls. It's unfortunate standard fare for her, clumsy since the day she was born, and she quickly picks herself back up to sitting to see… definitely not a rock.] Oh-- [Her eyes widen as she looks up to see--] I-is that a-- a deer?! [Are deer native to central park?!]

Kristoff: [At least he was there to break her fall… sort of. Grumbling to himself as he sits up, still stunned and out of breath, it takes a second for Kristoff to realize that she’s speaking to him.] A-- what? No! He’s a reindeer and his name is Sven. [Sven looks as shocked as Kristoff, looking around the unfamiliar setting. Brushing himself off, Kristoff groans as he gets to his feet and comes over to start looking Sven over to make sure he’s unharmed. Then he looks at the girl again. Wait-- Since when do girls wear pants?]

Anna: A-- a rein-- [Scrambling to get up, she looks from one to the other, so damn confused.] Wait-- wait. You're telling me that you're… that there are… reindeer rides… in central park? [Is that why he's wearing… a costume?]

Kristoff: Reindeer rides?! [Both Sven and Kristoff look at her like she has lost her fucking mind.] I don’t know what a… central park is, but the only person that rides Sven is me.

Anna: Okay. Okay. [Something isn't adding up here.] How… did you-- a-and Sven-- end up here, exactly?

Kristoff: How should I know?! One second, I’m in the cave, and the next, you were running over me! [Glaring at her slightly, Kristoff huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as Sven stomps a hoof.]

Anna: Wha-- why are you both looking at me like this is my fault?! [Squinting at him, she leans in a bit, trying to get a better look, so suspicious.] Tell me more about this... cave you came from.

Kristoff: [Her tone makes him bristle, standing up a little straighter.] It was a cave. What, haven’t you ever seen one before?

Anna: They're not exactly all over the place in New York City! I wouldn't even know where to find one here! [Crossing her arms in front of her chest to mirror him, she purses her lips.] Look here, bucko, you're the one who looks like he dropped out of a Christmas storybook with your… weird boots and matching reindeer!

Kristoff: [Listening to her, he starts to get the feeling that something is off here. However, he’s far too insulted by her tone to focus on anything else, and he scoffs at her comment about his boots.] Yeah? Well I don’t even know what a New York City is, but there’s nothing wrong with my boots and definitely nothing wrong with my reindeer! [Grabbing Sven’s reins, he starts to lead him off and away.] Come on, Sven. Let’s go home.

Anna: [Oh god. Oh no. This is… very bad. Wincing, Anna visibly cringes as she looks at her phone. Okay. She's… definitely going to have to cancel at least two meetings, but… running to catch up to him, she holds her breath, biting her bottom lip as she falls into step beside him.] So… where's home?

Kristoff: [There are woods here, he just doesn’t… recognize the trees. Walking with Sven, Kristoff glances at the woman next to him, looking pointedly at her pants.] Clearly far from here… [There’s a distinct tone of I’ve got this handled, even if he’s feeling far less confident.]

Anna: Hey-- [Okay, now is not the time to pick fights. Taking a deep breath, she steels herself.] Do you… have a plan? Or maybe… a map?

Kristoff: Do I look like I have a map? [Honestly. He has Sven and that’s about it. He doesn’t use a map at home, he doesn’t need it.] My plan is to walk until I see something familiar, and I’ve got it handled, thanks.

Anna: But, see… the thing is… New York City is kind of… big. And then you hit the ocean… [Turning toward him, she stops, putting her hand on his arm.] Okay, look, I'm sorry about what I said about your… clearly very wonderful reindeer… and your shoes, but I think you could use some help and I'd really like to help you find a way home. Because it sounds… an awfully long way away.

Kristoff: [Dammit. She was annoying before and now she’s making a certain amount of sense, although he still doesn’t know where he is or how far. Stopping to turn toward her, Kristoff looks at her for a moment.] I’m still not convinced I need it, but… You want to help me? Why would you want to help me?

Anna: Because I'm actually really nice when I'm not tripping over people and their reindeers! See? [Grinning widely, she points at her grin, as if the pointing is going to convince him. And, well. He clearly needs help. Maybe he's insane and ought to be checked into a place, but she certainly doesn't want to see him arrested or something equally terrible, because he seems like a pretty decent guy. Not to mention… attached to his reindeer. And the thought of separating the two of them into a mental asylum and animal control is… really depressing.]

Kristoff: [Sighing, he stops walking and looks at her. He needs information, because something is clearly not right here. But he can’t tell her what he saw in the cave. He’s not an idiot, she’ll just think he’s crazy. Making sure to speak slowly so that she can understand him, he explains the situation.] I live in the mountains surrounding Arendelle. That’s where my sleigh is and where I need to get back. So, if you can show me where I am, that would help.

Anna: Your… sleigh. [Oh god, she's so far in over her head.] Okay. I've never heard of that place, but I'm sure we can… look it up. [Pulling out her phone, she types it in. Then tries another kind of spelling. And another.] Um… is Arendelle a… city… in a country? [Maybe if she can get him back to the right country...]

Kristoff: [Staring at the phone in her hand, he’s silent for a beat, blinking.] It’s-- a kingdom? [After he says it, though, he leans forward to look in her hands at the phone.] What is that?

Anna: [Slowly looking up at him from her phone, Anna cringes. This is… not good. He's a storybook character. Come to life. Or a time traveler. Or a crazy person. But… that wouldn't explain the reindeer. Or the extremely authentic looking outfit. Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Elsa would never believe this if it happened to her. Although. Then again, neither would Hans. Or will. Oh god.] This is… a cell phone. You use it to… well, um. Do a lot of things. I can call people from a distance… or I can send messages… or I can look up information that I need to know. The whole-- heh-- internet at my fingertips! [Her grin is too wide, looking at him desperately as if hoping he might not ask what the internet is.]

Kristoff: [He’s not going to ask what the internet is. He really just… doesn’t want to know. But if she’s nervous and panicking, he’s starting to really feel it. He’s not used to being out of his element. Nodding slowly, to himself, Kristoff goes to sit on a nearby rock. He’s in world where messages can be sent from a distance and where women wear pants.]

Anna: … are you okay? [What a silly question. Of course he's not okay. Moving to sit beside him, she takes a deep breath, pressing her lips together as she starts going through this in her head. Step by step.] Um… are you and Sven hungry? What do reindeers… eat?

Kristoff: Carrots. [He sort of mumbles it, looking down at the ground for a bit before he looks up at her, taking a deep breath.] I don’t know where I am or why. So if your… phone can help, that would be good.

Anna: [Looking at him, her heart just sort of… breaks, and she moves to stand, reaching for his hand.] Come on. You and Sven should come with me.

Kristoff: Come with you? Where? [He doesn’t take her hand, standing on his own and taking hold of Sven’s reins again, petting the top of his head briefly. They both need a little comfort right now.]

Anna: [Pouting when he doesn't bother taking her hand, she sighs, getting them headed off to the south entrance to the park.] Well, I'm going to make sure you both have a place to stay tonight, and something to eat. Because this might not be as easy of a thing to fix as we'd like for it to be, and may take considerably longer than first expected, and we will need to keep our strength up. So it's… carrots for Sven and… what do you like to eat?

Kristoff: … carrots. [He’ll eat other things, but he usually just shares with Sven. Walking with her, he frowns, shaking his head.] So-- wait-- you’re taking us… where, exactly?

Anna: Uh… home? Sort of. New York City can be kind of… well, terrifying, so I want to make sure that both of you are okay, first and foremost. [Coming up to the entrance, Anna holds her hand up before running up to the small booth where people can get carriage rides. Explaining to the man who her father was, what company her sister runs, and the fact that she has a reindeer that needs excellent care, the man nods, coming back with her to where Kristoff and Sven are standing.] Um… if it's all right with you, they have a stable right here in the park. And I am asking for excellent service. I know Sven must be a little… shaken up, and I know that you seem really attached to him, so I want him to be in good hands while we try to get you home, so he's going to be more pampered than any of those horses… all the carrots he could possibly want to eat at his disposal! [Offering him a small smile, she looks to the attendant who nods.] We'd be happy to take excellent care of Sven.

Kristoff: [He doesn’t get much of a look out at the street, still trying to process everything that’s happening and looking Sven over some more. When the woman comes back with the stable master, Kristoff stops, blinking for a moment.] Wait… you want me to leave him here?

Anna: [Turning his body until she's got him facing out into Manhattan, she keeps hold of him, at least for the time being, just in case he collapses out of shock.] It's… the best place… for him to be right now.

Kristoff: [... oh… dear… god. He doesn’t even know what he’s seeing, how to process how different this place is from where he’s from. Seeing a horse and carriage pass puts his mind at ease a little, just to know that some things are still the same, but not much. His eyes are wide as he stares at the street, slowly shaking his head.] Maybe… I should just… stay with him.

Anna: No! No, no, we need to get to the bottom of this! Besides, it'll only be for… a few nights. Then maybe if we haven't figured it out by then we can go out to my family's house out in the Hamptons where we have our own stable… just for right now? [Because… she's not sure she can fit a reindeer into her apartment. She would… but Hans wouldn't ever let it happen.]

Kristoff: I always stay with him. [He doesn’t mind sleeping in a stable for a few days. Matter of fact, he’s starting to think he would prefer it, looking warily at the street.]

Anna: Please? [Her voice goes a little squeaky there just for a little bit, and she bites her lip, moving to grab hold of his hand. Oh god. This is such a bigbigbig problem, but even so, a part of her is glad that she's taking care of it. Someone else would have probably just had him arrested or sent to an asylum.] I promise he's going to be the most spoiled reindeer in the entire world. I promise. If I have to have a female reindeer sent in to keep him company, I can do that, too.

Kristoff: [He raises his eyebrows slightly as he slowly turns to look at her. She seems to want to help him, and as much as he hates to admit it… he needs help right now. If he has to leave Sven temporarily to get that help, then… he’ll have to do that.] Just-- Let me see where he’ll be? Let me… get him settled in? [He looks at her pleadingly, his hands tightening on the reins.]

Anna: [Quickly nodding, she looks from the stable master to Kristoff to Sven and back again.] Yeah! Yeah, of course. Um-- we'll just follow! [Heading back to the stable is quite the walk, but Anna doesn't mind, all four of them stepping inside for the manager to lead them back to a sizeable stall.] Sven will be staying right here, he'll be groomed, and he'll get all the carrots he could possibly want.

Kristoff: [He’s still not happy about this, and it’s written all over his face as he walks Sven into the stall and sits down on the hay with him.] Okay, Sven. I have to go with… [Shit. He doesn’t know her name.] That girl over there, but I’m just trying to get us home. So, I’ll be back every single day to check on you in the morning and the night. [Sven looks sad, or at least Kristoff thinks he does. Lowering his voice to express the emotion for the reindeer, his frown deepens as he pouts.] But I’ll miss you, Kristoff. I know, I know. I’ll miss you, too. It won’t be for long. She promised. Okayyyy. Byeee. [Kristoff steps to the other side of the stall door, but actually leaving is… hard.]

Anna: [Anna decides to step back after a moment, giving him some space to talk to the manager, but she can't help but overhear his conversation with Sven, her heart breaking all over again, finally stepping away from the manager who goes to talk to one of her assistants, presumably to get a lot of carrots. Holding her breath, she moves to take hold of Kristoff's hand.] You're going to get so many carrots, Sven! And I promise I'll have Kristoff back to you constantly!

Kristoff: [Kristoff is much quieter as they step away from the stable, not even minding especially that she’s holding his hand like she is. They walk for a while in silence, but as they get closer to the street again, Kristoff stops in his tracks, pulling on her hand to stop her, too.] Who are you? Where am I? What… is all of this?

Anna: [Oh… Anna bites her lip, turning to face him before she leads him over to a bench.] My name is Anna. I grew up here. We're in New York City, which is a very big city in a country called the United States of America. It's the year 2013. I'm twenty-one years old. My… family owns a very big business, and that's why I have the money to buy people lots of carrots. The stuff moving out there are cars. They're carriages that can move on their own, that don't need any horses!

Kristoff: 2013? [He couldn’t possibly have heard her correctly. He slowly shakes his head, running a hand down his face before taking his hat off.] It’s… 1829 where I come from. [He doesn’t know how old he is, only mostly. He didn’t have a family until he was about five, so that’s when he started counting. He figures he’s about twenty-five, but that’s a longer explanation than he really cares to give right now.]

Anna: … [Okay. She's going to need a moment to… process that one. Swallowing hard, she takes a deep breath, slooowly nodding.] … oh dear.

Kristoff: Yeah. [He can add. He knows it’s been almost two hundred years. So, what to do about this is… kind of beyond him at the moment.]

Anna: So… what did you see in that cave, again? [The problem is that, even if she finds out what was in that cave… she's not sure how much that would help them out at this point.]

Kristoff: I don’t know. There was a… light. And I was pulled toward it. [That’s the basic version of what happened. More detail will have to come when he actually trusts her a little more.]

Anna: … okay. So… maybe a wormhole. I'll see if I can call a… physicist to explain to us how to open one back up. [Wincing, she shakes her head.] Here-- we should get you something to eat. [Thank god for convenient little hot dog stands at the entrance of central park. Nodding, she pulls him toward it, ordering two of them.] You never told me your name.

Kristoff: Wormhole? The light was larger than a worm. [He follows her, feeling more and more frustrated and lost. At least sausage is… kind of a familiar food.] It’s Kristoff.

Anna: Um-- no, no, that's what it's called. It pulls you from one place and time to another and you have no idea where you end up-- like a shortcut. [Taking the hot dog, she hands it to him.] See, it's-- bread and sausage and you eat it together because it tastes delicious. [She hopes.]

Kristoff: [He just looks at her for a moment, blinking.] I know what it is and how to eat it. [Sighing, he takes a bite, realizing he’s starving once he starts chewing. His bite is almost swallowed when he opens his mouth to speak again.] I’m not a child, you know. I know a lot of things. [Probably more about some things than she does, he can’t resist silently adding as he straightens up and takes another bite.]

Anna: I know. I know I'd be totally lost if I ended up where you came from… but life in New York City is kind of… hectic and can be very busy because it's such a big city. [Biting her lip, she sighs, turning to look at Kristoff.] The problem is that I don't know that we can just… find another wormhole, even if we knew where to find one-- because, well, it could spit you out anywhere, not necessarily back to where you came from. And there are a lot worse places you could have ended up. It wouldn't feel right to just… send you out into the ether not knowing where you'd end up.

Kristoff: [Now that he’s thinking about it, he doesn’t think she’s on the right track here. It wasn’t a wormhole. It was some kind of magic.] What if we just… got back to the cave? Or to Arendelle? [Then maybe his family will still be there and he can ask for their help.]

Anna: … I don't know where Arendelle is. [Okay. Um. Taking his hand again, she shakes her head.] We're going to go home where it's… a lot less confusing and terrifying and I can look stuff up. And maybe make you more to eat. [Seeing as he scarfed that down in no time.]

Kristoff: [Walking with her, he pulls his hand out of hers, letting his arms fall to his sides. He’s not in any danger here and he doesn’t need to be led around like a child.] I can show you where it is if I can see a map.

Anna: I have a globe at my apartment? [Which, thank god its close. Crossing the street with him, the doorman welcomes them, Anna stepping inside to head to the elevator.] And we have a guest room to stay in, so you'll be comfortable.

Kristoff: [This is like a fucking castle. Kristoff can’t stop looking around, seeing the fireless lanterns on the ceiling and the walls, just… marveling at it all.] … we?

Anna: Yeah, um… I live with my fiance. [Heading into the elevator, she presses the button.] This is like… a machine that means you don't have to use stairs. [Running commentary is a… good idea.]

Kristoff: [He steps inside, nodding slowly as he looks around.] … because you’re lazy.

Anna: … probably. But also because we're efficient! And intelligent enough to have created technologies that make life easier. It means that everyone has more time to spend with their friends and families. [Leaving the elevator, she unlocks the door to the apartment, opening it for him to step through.] Home sweet home... at least, for the time being.

Kristoff: [His friend is Sven and his family is… who even knows where. Taking her explanation but not quite all the way agreeing with it, he steps off the elevator and follows her into the apartment. It’s much different than anything he’s ever seen. Looking around, he frowns here and there.] They don’t make walls out of wood anymore?

Anna: Oh! Well-- they do. They use wood and… stone, and then they put insulation on top so you don't get cold in the winter, and then they put something on top to make it look nice. [Grabbing the globe, she carries it over to him.] Does anything look familiar on here?

Kristoff: [This all just seems so much more complicated than it needs to be, but he doesn’t say anything, just taking the globe from her. It’s barely functional, more for show with the muted colors and distressed look, but he manages to find the outlines of the seas, his finger tracing over northern europe. Stopping at an inlet in Norway, he looks up at Anna.] Here. I’m pretty sure it’s here.

Anna: Okay. Okay. We'll go there and… find your cave. [God. She's going to be so behind on-- fuck. Feeling her phone buzz in her pocket, she reaches in to pick it up.] Hans, hey… they called you? Why would they call you? No-- no, look, don't be mad, I'll call them and tell them never to call you again and it'll be fine. [Pausing, she glances at Kristoff for a moment.] … um, listen, I'm actually-- I might not be around when you come home. For… a while. -- yes, I know I have appointments, but I-- something came up and it's important… yeah, I guess I'll talk to you later. [Sighing, she hangs up, moving to sit in front of her laptop.]

Kristoff: [He listens to her conversation with some interest, sitting down in a chair while she talks, still holding the globe in his lap. When she hangs up, he peers over the top of it, narrowing his eyes slightly.] Who’s Hans?

Anna: Hans is my… fiance. We're engaged. He wants to get married really soon, so I've been planning everything and it's been really busy because he's too busy with work to help… [She thinks it might be a bit too soon, if only because of how stressed she's been wedding planning.] Anyway… um, do you want to stay here for the night, or head straight out to Norway?

Kristoff: Why does he want to get married really soon? How long have you known him? [He leans forward, resting his chin on the globe as he studies her.]

Anna: Half a year. He says it's because he wants to have kids pretty soon. And… he's a bit older than me, so I guess he's itching to get married faster. Um-- I mean. Fast. [Dammit.] So-- Norway?

Kristoff: Do you want to get married as fast as he does? And… have children right away? [It seems like if she doesn’t want those things, she probably shouldn’t do it.]

Anna: Well, I… love him, and it's a responsible match, as my dad would say if he were still around. [Getting up, she spins the globe to point to New York City.] That's where we are right now.

Kristoff: You don’t seem to like him very much. [He looks at the globe for a moment and then back at her, pursing his lips as he waits for an answer.]

Anna: No, no, I just… don't like all the work that comes with planning a wedding. [Offering him a small, shaky smile, she gets up, heading into the kitchen to make him something to eat-- and probably her, too, for that matter. Nevermind that she really ought to change out of exercise gear.] … what about you? Do you have a girl back where you're from?

Kristoff: Don’t you have a family that takes care of it? [Where he’s from weddings are simpler. Getting up, he follows her, setting the globe aside and leaning against the counter.] Me? No. No girl.

Anna: My parents died when my sister and I were kind of young. So… [She nods. They grew up with their nannies, more or less, though Elsa has always been an adult for as long as Anna has known her. Looking over at him, she frowns.] Why not?

Kristoff: Oh. Yeah, mine, too. [Fortunately, he was sort of adopted. Mirroring her frown, because why should she care? He shrugs.] I just… don’t. Most girls where I’m from want a cozy cottage in the town and I sell ice for a living. So… I keep odd hours. [And it’s hard work that’s not generally compatible with a family.]

Anna: You… sell ice for a living? That's pretty cool. [Chuckling to herself at her own joke, she shakes her head.] I just figure an attractive guy such as yourself should have a girl, that's all.

Kristoff: [He laughs and shakes his head, because it’s a little funny. Looking down when she asks that, he shrugs smiling at her when he looks up.] I don’t know that I ever thought about it like that. It’s not usually… about looks. It’s about who can provide for a family, and I’m… better off just me and Sven.

Anna: Well, Sven is your family, so it seems like you can provide for your family pretty well. [Smiling at him, she serves them both, grabbing the plates and putting them both on the table before going back for cutlery.] Here, eat. It'll be at least a bit more substantial than the hot dog. Might fill you up a bit more, and if not, I can always keep making food!

Kristoff: [That does make him smile a little, his hand brushing hers as he takes his fork from her, a small spark passing between them.] Oh, sorry-- [When he looks down at the plate, he frowns at the sight of long noodles and red sauce, stirring it around a little.] What is this?

Anna: Oh, it's okay. [Smiling a bit wider, she pushes her plate a bit closer to him to show him how to twirl up the noodles.] It's called spaghetti. It's noodles and a sauce made out of tomatoes. Watch. [Spinning until she's got a bit on her fork, she lifts it up to eat her bite.]

Kristoff: [He watches her with a small smile, thinking she looks completely ridiculous. Trying himself, he lifts up a bite to taste it, chewing first before he starts to nod.] Mm… it’s… not bad.

Anna: You're right. It's very good. I'm a very good cook. [If she keeps telling herself that, it'll be true…] We had a cook growing up, so I never got much practice. Although-- [Chuckling, she wipes her mouth.] I can tell you it'll be better than airplane food.

Kristoff: What’s an airplane? [He blinks at her before taking another bite. He’s used to eating pickled herring and carrots, so the spaghetti is pretty good actually.]

Anna: Oh! Right. It's going to take us to where we need to go. It's a like a very large carriage… but it can fly really fast, so you can go pretty much anywhere in a really short amount of time! [Grinning, she takes another bite before getting up to pour them both drinks, getting him a beer. It's… probably going to be what he's most familiar with.] You should probably recognize this… anyway, we can go whenever you want!

Kristoff: [Taking all of this in is… a lot. But he’s getting the hang of it. Slowly nodding, he takes the beer and drinks about half of it at once. She’s probably going to need to keep them coming.] Does the airplane have room for Sven?

Anna: Well, no, but once we figure out if we can get you back to your time through the same cave, maybe-- a long shot, but totally plausible-- then we can bring him over, too. Or we could… take a boat, if he needs to come with you. [She can be… flexible.]

Kristoff: But if I go back-- How can we be sure he can get back, too? [Kristoff stops eating, looking across the table at her to shake his head.] No. No, I won’t go back without him.

Anna: … okay. I just figured… maybe we want to see first, if there's a way… [Mainly because she doubts the existence of a way back. Which is… problematic.] But okay. Sven can come, and we can take… a boat. [Do boats even go across the Atlantic? Damn. Getting up to grab her laptop, she brings it back over to look it up.]

Kristoff: [Kristoff sighs, shaking his head as he reaches for his beer.] I’m just saying that if there is a way back, I won’t go until Sven is with me.

Anna: Of course. I wouldn't-- no one would ever ask that of you. We should just… maybe go look first if we aren't dragging him there for no reason. [Setting down her laptop, she takes a long sip of her wine.] But if you want to take him along now, we can… make that work, too.

Kristoff: [He nods, setting the beer bottle aside as he finishes it.] Fine. I just don’t want to be gone too long. He’ll think I left him.

Anna: [Reaching across the table to take his hand, she squeezes, quickly nodding.] I promise we'll be back for him in no time. And if you want to swing by and go see him before we go to the airport, we can do that, too. [Checking the clock on the wall, she takes another bite of her spaghetti.] As soon as you want to leave, we can. So we can wait until tomorrow morning, or we can go tonight.

Kristoff: [Kristoff nods again, taking another half-hearted bite. He needs to see him before he goes so that he can explain… just in case.] I don’t really know. I’m used to sleeping with Sven, so I’m not sure where I would…?

Anna: … we can go tonight. [Actually, that probably makes more sense. Getting on kayak, Anna starts looking up flight prices, promptly getting two flights from New York City to Oslo.] We can stop by and see Sven before we leave, and then we'll be off. [Before he starts feeling homesick enough for Sven to want to go sleep in the stable.]

Kristoff: Oh. Okay. [Looking at her for a moment, he holds up his bottle.] Do you have more beer?

Anna: [Getting up, she reaches into the refrigerator to pull out three more bottles, putting them all in front of him with a smile. If Hans desperately wants more beer, he can always get more.] I'm going to make us things to eat while we're on the plane, and then we can head out! Do you want to take a shower before we go?

Kristoff: All right. [He smiles, opening the next bottle to drink from it. He frowns slightly at her question, shaking his head.] A shower? Why?

Anna: … don't you… wash? [Blinking, she tries to… process this. He sleeps in a barn, doesn't wash… does he ever change his clothes?]

Kristoff: I… do? [But, a lot less often than she does, more than likely.] Do I… smell?

Anna: [Getting up, she leans into him, sniffing for a moment.] … hm. [It's not… outrageously bad, so she shrugs.] It's… not so bad.

Kristoff: [Pulling away from her nose, he shoots her a look when she smells him.] What is the matter with you?

Anna: You asked! [What, what's so wrong with confirming?!] You're the guy who sleeps in barns! [Getting up again, she cleans up their plates to wash before bringing him a towel.] Come on.

Kristoff: If you couldn’t tell I smelled before getting that close to my body, I don’t need a bath. [Shooting her another look, he stands up and shakes his head, sipping from his beer.]

Anna: Come on! I have been nothing but nice to you, so the least you can do is take a shower while I wash your clothes! [Pulling him into the bathroom, she pulls the shower curtain shut and turns on the stream, pulling two different products up to show him.] There. You use shampoo and conditioner in your hair, and body wash on all the rest of you. and then you can use this towel to dry off after you turn the water off. [Handing him a beer to take with him into the bathroom, she nods, turning around again to head back into the kitchen.] Wash!

Kristoff: Wha-- [Shrugging her off, he shakes his head, pushing the towel back into her hands.] No, no. I don’t need a bath. [He knows what it’s like to really need a bath and this is not it.]

Anna: I shower every other day. [Pushing the towel back into his hands, she does her best to give him a very, very serious face.] Now. You're going to go in there, you're going to take off your clothes, and then you're going to go into the shower, and I'm going to take your clothes and put them in the wash, and they'll be clean in no time. Believe me, showers are nice! Pleasant! Warm! Just like me.

Kristoff: I don’t need to, though. [Sighing he can see that he’s not going to get anywhere like this. So he decides to just go along with it. Taking off his jacket, he hands it over to her and reaches for the hem of his shirt to lift it over his head, handing that off, too before reaching for his pants.]

Anna: [………………………………….. he's just………. going to get undressed in front of her. Anna feels her mouth go dry as she holds onto the clothes he's already rid himself of, just sort of… staring for a long moment before she realizes what she's doing, and, bright red, promptly stares down at the floor. Feet. Her feet. That's what she needs to be staring at. Oh god.]

Kristoff: [Taking off his boots to set them aside, he moves to push his pants down, stepping out of them just as the door closes behind him and there’s the distinct noise of keys hitting the ground. Bouncing on one foot as he tries to get them off, he sighs in relief as he finally succeeds, swapping his pants out to take the towel from her.] What the hell is going on?! [Looking over his shoulder, Kristoff’s eyes widen.] Who are you? [Stepping closer, Hans looks appalled.] Who am I? I’m her fiance! Who are you? [Kristoff crosses his arms over his chest, answering shortly.] Kristoff.

Anna: [… okay, that is… not good. Clearing her throat, Anna turns without raising her head, shaking it all the while.] Nothing… inappropriate, if that's… what this looks like. I'm fully dressed. Fully dressed. It's-- look. It's a long story. Kristoff is my-- my friend. That I met today. He needs to get back home, so I'm helping him do that. [Turning back to Kristoff, she looks at him, promptly wrenching her eyes back up to his face before ushering him into the bathroom.] Go shower, I'll handle things out here!

Kristoff: [Kristoff shoots a dirty look at Hans, walking to the bathroom.] What is he so mad about?!

Anna: I-- don't know. [Turning back to Hans, she sighs, readjusting the rest of Kristoff's clothes.] So that's why you're taking time off from planning and meetings that have been scheduled for months. For a homeless man you met. This is just like you, Anna-- [Brushing right past him, she heads for the washer, putting his clothes in to get started washing.] He's not homeless! It's a long story, and I wouldn't expect you to understand, but there's no hanky panky going on, and I'm taking him home tonight, anyway, so you won't have to worry about him being in our guest bedroom, although that is what it's for!

Hans: Anna! Why are you taking him home? Why is he not going home himself? I love that you have a big heart, but this is out of hand. Our wedding is important. [Listening from the bathroom, Kristoff frowns at his tone, opening the door to walk out, still naked.] She’s just helping me! If your wedding is happening so fast, you can afford to wait a few days. [Hans rounds on him, seething.] Listen to me, dickhead! I don’t like you prancing around naked in front of my fiancee! [Kristoff looks him up and down for a moment, his brows raised.] Of the two of us, I don’t think I’m the one that prances.

Anna: Oh, it's not like I'm looking! [Pursing her lips, Anna huffs, heading into the kitchen to start making food.] I'm leaving. Tonight. With Kristoff. And there's nothing you can do about it because this is who I am! [Turning back toward the counter, she lets out the breath she's been holding, so relieved.] You are not going anywhere with some guy that you don't even know! You realize he could kill you, right? Anna. I care about you. And I don't want you to get hurt, but sometimes you really need someone to teach you some self-preservation, someone to watch out for you. It's not my fault that I need to take a firm hand with you sometimes. You need it.

Kristoff: [There’s no way Kristoff is leaving her now, grabbing Hans’ shoulder as he starts to walk into the kitchen after her.] Hey! Leave her alone. She can do whatever she wants!

Anna: [Anna turns around, her eyes widening as she watches all of this unfold, just… cringing as Hans turns around to look at Kristoff like he's lost his mind.] And make incredibly bad decisions in the process! I don't know if you noticed, but Anna is extremely naive, and entirely too nice for her own good, and she doesn't need someone like you exploiting her! [Oh, that just will not do. Anna comes up behind him, clearing her throat. Why did she have to be so short?!] He is not exploiting me! [Turning around, Hans grabs hold of her arms.] You're right. You're letting him. He doesn't have to do anything but look sad and you fall for it like an idiot who doesn't know how to take care of herself.

Kristoff: [He doesn’t understand how they can be getting married if this is how he talks to her. Kristoff grabs Hans’ shoulder, pulling him away from Anna.] Don’t grab her! I’m not exploiting her, and she’s not naive, she’s just a nice person!

Anna: [Bringing her hands up to her face, Anna covers her mouth in horror, her eyes widening as Hans turns on him again.] Now listen here, you are a guest in my house-- [Anna's voice perks up, just a bit squeaky.] -- actually, mine! [... before he continues again, undeterred.] -- and I believe that means you're supposed to be respectful and not tell other people how to treat their significant others!

Kristoff: I wouldn’t have to tell you how to treat her if you knew how to do it in the first place! [Kristoff grabs his shoulders and leads him away from Anna a bit to keep her out of the fray.]

Anna: [Taking about two steps toward them, Anna keeps her eyes wide open through her fingers, Hans looking so close to punching Kristoff.] It's not your business! She's not your fiancee!

Kristoff: She’s my friend! She helped me! So now I’m helping her. Back. Off. [Clenching his fists at his side, he’s trying to walk the fine line of respecting her choice and standing up for her. This guy doesn’t sit right with him and he knows he’s not imagining it.]

Hans: [Hans turns toward with, his jaw set.] I have a dinner meeting with a colleague, but by the time I come home, I want this neanderthal out of the apartment and you still in it. And don't even think about giving him any of my clothes. [Anna puffs up her chest, moving to stand behind Kristoff.] He wouldn't fit into any of them, anyway, because he has more muscles than you! And I'm going to Norway! With Kristoff!

Kristoff: [Kristoff moves to stand in front of her, prepared to shield Anna and help Hans leave the apartment if necessary. Hans turns back, livid.] Norway? You are not going to fucking Norway! Definitely not without me and alone with him!

Anna: Kristoff is my friend, and I already booked the tickets!! You're just worried I'm going to like him better! [There. She said it. Not so naive, after all!]

Hans: Please! [Hans scoffs, looking at Kristoff and casually glancing down before bristling and straightening up.] I’m not scared of that! I’m worried for your safety, Anna. You don’t even know him!

Anna: That?! He's a grown man! He sells ice for a living! It's why he has more muscles than you! [And, speaking of ice, if he doesn't stop pushing her, this is going to turn into the very thin kind very quickly.]

Hans: He sells ice for a living?! [Hans starts laughing, hard, shaking his head as he looks at the two of them.] Anna, I only have your best interests at heart. Listen to me when I tell you, you don’t know that you can trust him!

Anna: Yeah, well, you only want to get married this fast because you're not seeing a cent of my family's money until we're married, and Kristoff agrees that it's too soon! So I can trust him! Because this entire time, it was never about him! If I hadn't talked him into letting me help him, he wouldn't have accepted any help in the first place! And he cares about things that matter to him! Like his-- like his Sven! [Right, okay. Not going to talk about Sven being a reindeer.] He's a good person and I trust him and that should be enough for you if you respect me and love me! Like you say you do.

Kristoff: Oh, well. If Kristoff thinks it’s too soon, since he clearly knows everything about us and exactly how to behave in this situation… [Trailing off, Hans squares his jaw as he looks at the two of them.] Do what you want, Anna. But just remember… I’m the only one that has ever given you the time of day and a chance. Think very hard before you throw that away for an ice salesman. [Scoffing, he turns to the door and storms out, slamming it behind him to leave Kristoff standing there, just… stunned.]

Anna: Yeah, w-well-- [... oh dear. He is right about that. Swallowing hard, Anna turns back around to head back in the kitchen, feeling herself tear up, her hands trembling. That's why she's with him. Because… no one else ever pays any attention to her. Unless… well, begging and pleading, like with Kristoff. And occasionally even her sister. Sometimes. Either way, that sure shut her up fast.]

Kristoff: [Once he’s gone, Kristoff turns back to her, looking worried.] Are you all right? [He feels kind of bad for causing a fuss, but he feels worse because her fiance is a fucking dick.]

Anna: Mm… mmhm. [Nodding hurriedly, she takes some cold cuts out of the fridge, her hands still shaking and tears threatening to spill out over her cheeks.]

Kristoff: [He’s still naked. He knows he shouldn’t leave her, so he comes over to the counter to lean against it, watching her.] … are you sure?

Anna: [She nods again, swallowing hard. She has to be okay. What's the alternative? Being alone forever? She doesn't want that.]

Kristoff: [He’s still not sure about leaving her, but she wanted him to shower.] I’m… going to go take a bath. Unless… you wanted to come? So you won’t be alone.

Anna: [Dear god. She almost drops the knife she's holding, her eyes going wide as she looks over at him.] C-come-- take a shower-- with you?

Kristoff: … if you want to? [He’s not really aware of the implications of what he’s offering. It’s not such a big deal where he’s from, where hot water is a valuable commodity.]

Anna: [Turning to face him, she wraps her arms around him, just sort of taking a moment to appreciate how nice he is to her, blinking frantically in an attempt to rid herself of her tears. Finally, she pulls back, smiling up at him.] Thank you. But you should go take your shower, and I'll make us snacks. You're… really very nice, and I'm glad to be helping you.

Kristoff: [Nodding a little awkwardly, Kristoff pats her back gently before stepping back and walking to the bathroom to go shower. The only problem is that he doesn’t know how to work it. There’s one knob labeled “hot” and that sounds good to him, so he turns it on and steps inside. At first, it’s great, just gently warm. But it’s not long before it’s suddenly scalding, Kristoff screaming as he fumbles to get out of the shower.] Ah!! Anna!

Anna: [Oh. Oh dear. Scrambling to get into the bathroom, her eyes wide, Anna does her best to just look above the waist.] What! What is it?!

Kristoff: [Naked and wet, there’s a huge patch of red skin running from Kristoff’s stomach down to his thigh.] It’s-- It burned me!

Anna: Oh-- Kristoff, it's too hot! [Pulling the curtain aside, she points.] This is hot, this is cold. You want to find a happy middle, so you have to adjust the nob a bit. [Turning it, she touches the water with a final nod to him, closing her eyes whenever her eyes have to make the path up to his face from being down on the shower floor. So far, so good.] There. Much better, now.

Kristoff: … I didn’t know that you could turn them both on. [Running water where he comes from is a good bit simpler. Nodding his thanks to her, he steps up to the shower again, sticking a tentative hand inside.] Thank you.

Anna: Anytime! Call me if you need anything else! [Shutting the curtain again, Anna scurries back out. Goodness. She meets him and immediately her whole life is turned upside down. But while he's in the shower she manages to fix up sandwiches, get all packed as necessary (minimally so, of course), and his clothes finished washing. She's in the bedroom changing when she hears the shower shut off, standing in front of her mirror in nothing but a bra and panties, trying to figure out what to wear… for no reason other than to look nice on the plane. Right. To look nice on the plane...]

Kristoff: [When he gets done, he steps out of the shower while drying his hair off and walks into the bedroom looking for Anna. Seeing her out of the corner of his eye, he smiles as he comes up behind her.] Hi.

Anna: Ah! [Jumping a good three feet, she turns around, seeing far too late that she's wearing far too little, her arms scrambling to try and cover herself.] Oh-- your clothes are in the dryer, hold on-- [Grabbing her blanket to yank up, she misses the fact that she was standing on a corner, promptly knocking herself over and onto the ground with a thud.] … oops.

Kristoff: Anna! [He drops the towel he was using, frowning as he kneels at her side to help her up.] Are you all right?

Anna: [He's so… chivalrous and noble, and she's… still wearing nothing but underwear and a pile of blankets.] Uh-- um. I think so! Thank you. Again. [Getting up with his help, she carefully wraps her blankets tightly about herself, taking him into the laundry room to pull his clothes out of the dryer for him with a smile.] All washed! And still warm.

Kristoff: Oh. Thank you. [He blinks down at the clothes thrust into his arms, stepping back from her and adjusting them.] I guess I’ll go get dressed...

Anna: You can... use my bedroom? If you want. [Oh god. He's going to see her lacy unmentionables. Here's to hoping he doesn't know what unmentionables are.] And then we can head off! [Once she finally gets dressed, that is. Heading back in, she steps into the closet. Okay. Let's try this again.]